Veronique Pozner still faces denial over her 6-year-old son’s death. Noah Pozner was one of the 20 first-graders killed in the December shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Conn. “You have to process an event before you can forgive,” she said. “And I haven’t processed this yet.”
Also: Since the shooting Veronique Pozner has spoken out against gun violence.
Transcript:
"My husband and I showed up at the firehouse to claim what we initially thought would be three children. We found our daughters very quickly but it became apparent fairly soon afterwards that Noah’s entire class was unaccounted for. And I knew even before that, I knew from the pandemonium, parents on cell phones, people screaming, police cruisers; that something of biblical proportions had happened. I just didn’t know what. But I knew my son was dead.
The morning of the funeral, I knew, was going to be probably the hardest day of my life.
The eulogy just poured out of me.I just wanted to convey to the people who were there, who didn’t all know him well or know him at all, who he was, you know, that in the end, he was a child, you know. And so a lot of the things that I said about him, probably people find in their own children. To drive that home I thought was really important for me - the who he was.
With Judaism, for people who are not familiar, there’s a seven day period of mourning which is called Shiva. And people come to the home, friends, members of the synagogue, family. They bring food. They bring comfort. They bring conversation. Sometimes they just bring their presence. But it was such [an] unprecedented, hard time in my life that it was good to have other people kind of take charge and do stuff.
One of the evenings of the Shiva, I did light a candle for my son and for the shooter, Adam Lanza.
It’s something I did more for Noah than I did for myself ‘cause he never held a grudge about anything. You know, he would get into a fight with his sister but he would forgive very quickly. He’d be right back to doing whatever they were doing before the argument. He just wasn’t – he liked to see the best in people. I just did it on his behalf. I don’t think I’m there yet, but I was trying to be there and put myself in his place.
I think – this may sound cliché, but I do believe forgiveness takes time. You have to process an event before you can forgive. And I haven’t processed this yet. I mean there’s still a lot of denial. So I’m not there.
I'm not there yet myself completely. It’s tough."
What is it with the Sandy Hook matter going on and on? Give us a break, please and let it go away..What is so bad is that I learned sometime ago that a family has taken their loss of their child at Sandy Hook to further their own financial gain !!! Hijacking at it's best. Taking the proceeds from donations for this horrific event to resolve their past financial mistakes instead of setting the funds aside for the other children in their family. That is hijacking at it's best...Just sad but this is true about the hijacking...
Mrs. Pozner my heart goes out to you for Noah as well as the other 19 children that perished that horrific day. I am also Jewish and have a 6 year old daughter who will be starting kindergarden in September. I am a single parent who only has my one child. Whether it be one child or more the loss of a child is forever a tragedy. I don't know why but I always think of Noah. He stood out for me maybe cause of the amount of times he was shot. I have to tell you may god rest his soul your poor little boy and the angels above will protect him forever. Unfortunately we live in a society where people are just crazy and unfortunately our government does not protect us very well. I hope the senators who voted against the new gun laws do not get voted in again when there term is up. Hopefully Newtown, CT will always be in the minds and heart of all Americans and this we will never forget. God Bless you and your family.
When I think about Newtown, Noah is the child I think of. Because I am Jewish, because Noah looks like so many of the children that I know and love and see every day. Because I have lived in Israel, a place with actual threats and far more gun control and a culture that does not glorify death or violence or weapons. Because I know that the way we are living here - in which one irresponsible woman can kill 26 people through poor judgment about guns - is not the way that human beings should live.
What happened in December is not an aberration, not the work of a single madman, not the result of Evil or video games. What happened was the result of an intersection between mental illness and American gun culture and our collective failure to value public aafety over the individual rights of irresponsible people. It is absolutely something we could have avoided and could have stopped, absolutely something we can prevent if we choose to do so. It was not necessary. It is not the price that we pay for the freedom. My child is not worth this price. Your precious child should never have paid it.
In Judaism, our obligation is first and foremost to create an ethical society where normal human weaknesses - anger, jealousy, fear, greed - do not create a danger to others. The society that allowed Nancy Lanza to keep an arsenal at home and that never suggested that she should rethink her choices is not an ethical one. It is one in which every person does what is best in their own eyes and no one feels responsible for their neighbor's safety. This, according to our Rabbis, was the way of Sdom.
Everyone says that this moment will pass and nothing will really change in our gun laws and gun culture. I for one will not allow that to happen. I will not forget Noah and I will personally make sure that no one I know will forget him either.
Bless you, Veronique! Your words have touched people from all walks of life living both near and far from Newtown, CT. You are an inspiration and I know you are only just beginning. May the love of all your supporters give you the hope and strength to smile each day in Noah's honor. His legacy is one of compassion, humor, and love for his parents/siblings... you raised an incredible young man and should be proud. Thank you for sharing with us!
Enough has been said and proposed over the events of December 14, 2012; however, there is information and questions from the authorities which have not been answered nor released. There are enough laws on the books now which need to be enforced. Automatic and semi-automatic weapons should be with law enforcement and the military only. What is needed are mental health and background checks on all weapons applications. All weapons should be locked up and secured in the home but tough to administer and supervise. As it relates to safety of our students in schools, check points should be established and manned at a distance from the school's entrance with panic buttons; however, inter-city schools should consider manned entrances, metal detectors and panic buttons.
Veronique P. Pozner is a woman who is heart broken and in therapy to get back on her feet and the here and now world with her life if that is possible. I hope she recovers but is a changed woman from the woman I knew in the relationship we had starting back in June 2012. She is a Registered Nurse and the Mother of five (5) children but now four (4) with the loss of Noah and has had a horrible life before I met her bringing her happiness she said she never had until me. Baby sitting her three youngest children from time to time in parks and at my home while she was going through a bankruptcy brought on by her second husband and a divorce too from her second husband. Leonard Pozner, who abused and beat her in front of her children at home in Sandy Hook and almost killed her. Check the police records which are now sealed in the Newtown Police Department of that event of July 12, 2011. She has been through two (2) divorces and with the loss of her son, Noah, has turned on a very close friend who helped her blindly when asked and who stood by her through the horror of December 14, 2012. Such a tragedy for anyone to endure. I do hope she recovers and remembers the one who brought her the happiness she never had who has been now asked to stay away completely. Such a tragedy..
Dear Mrs. Pozner: Sending you my sincere condolences on the loss of your beautiful son, Noah.
I have seen his picture and the pictures of the other children who died with him and they were all
so sweet and beautiful. My heart truly aches for you and all the bereaved parents. I know what it
is like to lose a child. My 17 year old son died in a car accident in 1987 and after 25 years, I still find it hard to believe that it happened. I was driving the car which makes it even harder to accept.
But the tragedy in Newtown, CT. is beyond words and comprehension. I don't understand why or how these terrible things happen in life, but they do. I believe that Noah now lives in your heart where he is loved and safe from all hurt. I wish you and your family peace and blessings.
Sincerely,
Carolyn Pitarra
what a wonderful story. I don't think a day goes by that i don't think of the children, their families and all of Newtown. I remember the first days after this thinking none of us are truly safe, thinking someone could be crazy enough to just shoot me driving down the road. I thought to myself, why did his mother have these guns out, and available to her son. I remember thinking, what was wrong with this boy, to want to go into this school and do what he did. I thought he must have been a student there many years ago and either no one helped him or he was bullied. I also remember, as many thought the mother was teaching there that day, that he hated his mom for some reason and must of wanted her to suffer, because who would do this to children. In my thoughts you will see, I never asked why are we allowed to have such dangerous weapons.
My ex-husband has 2 dwi's in the state of CT., he is not allowed to own a weapon and his mother who he lives with is allowed to own but may not have them in the house. Adam Lanza was a very sick young man. studies show that boys with mental issues in elementary school, that continue and are not adressed peak in their early 20's. It has always bothered me that despite the no child left behind act, so many children are left behind. Whether it be because of educational disabilities or from mental illness (which varies from child to child and from one extreme to another). The school systems have not enough resources or funds to provide the proper help to these kids. WE NEED TO FIGHT FOR AN END TO THIS. Lets not leave another child to feel the way Adam Lanza did. I like to believe this boy was truly suffering inside his own mind and body. This will make a real difference down the road and i believe will we see a decrease in these types of attacks. Adams mother, should not have been allowed to have weapons in her home. I truly wish she was here to answer some very important questions. We still have not been informed as to the mental issues prior to this. Was he seeing a psychologist, was his mom in the process of putting him in a facility. These are such important questions.
I wish I could say I agree with the ban on the weapon he used, but I don't. He was in possession of hand guns as well. I feel like without the semi., he could have and would have been able to do just as much damage with the hand gun. I know, that something has to be done. I also know that a mandatory buy back across the country isn't going to happen. If it does, we may be putting our civilians in more danger. As the States down south and even quite close to us and across the Country don't want this. Background checks are not efficient and the process is flawed. We deffinatly need to fix that problem across the board.we need to stop private sales as much as we can. We can limit magazine capacities, to try to save lives. Those who do not support banning
semi's, have been referred to as Nazi's. I know you don't want them calling us that, I know we don't want the kids in the middle of this. I believe most of the states will back all but one of the solutions. I wish all the guns in the world were not here, and that drugs were not here, that prescription drugs for mental illness were more regulated, they're not. We need to make the governments we pay, do their job efficiently. I feel like they put all these laws on the books and don't follow through.
I send this to you because I heard you speak. I wanted you to know that those of us who do not want a ban and mandatory buy back of guns, feel that way because it is a dangerous solution. People don't want to give back their guns. We, well at least some of us, are willing to support all solutions, but that one. I hope in time, your pain settles to a place, where you can find peace! I AM SO SORRY, SO SO SORRY THAT YOU ARE SUFFERING! I send my love and my strength to you in hopes that you will try to understand. I do not own a weapon and probably never will. Sometimes I feel as though, I should own a weapon. Anyone can come to my home, as they did in many cases across this country and i will not be able to defend my family. I will be a sitting duck. I don't want to be that. A woman in one of the meetings stood up and stated that two men had come into her home, she shot one, as she had a hunting rifle. She could not defend herself against the other intruder. The man sitting next to her was a military vet and stated that if she had, had a rifle such as the one used at Newtown she could have stopped both of them. u see the ar-15 only lets one shot out at a time. u have to pull the trigger for each preceeding shot. So the magazine capacity is a great solution, as the ar-15 used held too many. I hope for solutions that will not divide our Country in two, but bring it together to make us all safe.
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